Without doubt the comedian of the group. Possessor of a razor sharp wit (if wit was shit he'd be diarrhoea), and also a gifted mimic....although he is noted for sometimes showing no mercy to his victims. He is always keen to be at the forefront of any festivities, but it has to be said that his roommate of the last two years seems to have had the impact of slowing him down somewhat, or maybe old father time is finally catching up with him.

Gerry's ability to assume absolutely no responsibility whatsoever for anything at all on the trips is to be admired (Oh! I forgot to bring my driving licence...again)......but luckily for him someone else is invariably on hand to look after him.

On the golfing side he has the potential to be an extremely good golfer, and possesses what appears to be an effortless swing (probably why the ball doesn't travel very far!) but is prone to the same inconsistencies as everyone else suffers. An original Snork, Gerry has already passed into legend because of the Sophie Trophy. 

Although not suited to golf in the sun because he burns like a baby, Gary is the group's proper golfer. He may take the world's shortest back swing, but somehow he sends the ball absolutely miles. Add to this his tremendous powers of recovery and you have the "luckiest" golfer amongst The Snorks. 

Known to be his own man, he never bows to peer pressure. Does what he likes when he likes, even in the face of constant barracking regarding his feminine drinking habits and penchants for early nights.

Although extremely steady on the tee (partly due to having legs like golf bags) he can be put off his stride by persistent and inventive sledging...... unfortunately the down side of which can be the negative impact on the atmosphere on the tee!!!

Unlike his roommate, Gary has shown an admirable willingness to share some of the responsibility on the holiday (particularly the driving), which is much appreciated by all.

The tour's very own Austin Powers look alike and sound alike. Without doubt the Mr Enthusiastic of the group, he clearly loves every minute of being away with the boys.... yeah baby!

Prone to being easily led, he is invariably the first to get out of order, but always hangs on until the bitter end regardless.

Always enjoys his golf, which was typified at Morgado in 2005 when for the first few holes he couldn't hit a barn door, but persevered and got his just rewards. Now playing regularly on a very tough course, his golf has improved immeasurably which is evidenced by his runaway winning of the Sophie Trophy this year. For the record, he putted like a God.

The Mr No Nonsense of the group. Without doubt, always a man on a mission so don't get in his way when he is on the move. This no nonsense get out of my way approach was best typified when he strolled down the 18th at Los Flamingos with a fat cigar in his hand, a la Darren Clarke.

Also known for his sweeping generalisations, as typified when walking down a fairway at Mijas and shouting at some people enjoying sitting in the garden of their villa "shout-up you f****** criminals". Obviously everyone who has a villa in Spain is avoiding the English justice system!!

A very consistent golfer, he has a wonderful knack for describing his shots after he has hit them i.e any slice tends to be a deliberate cut etc.

Bunny is also distinctive for how unnaturally skinny he is for a man of his age, particularly one who consumes as much alcohol as he does.

Handicap - 16

Tours Attended - 7 (2001 - 07)

Sophie Trophy's - 3

Handicap - 15

Tours Attended - 5 (2003 - 07)

Sophie Trophy's - 1

Handicap - 12

Tours Attended - 5 (2003 - 07)

Sophie Trophy's - 1

Handicap - 13

Tours Attended - 5 (2003 - 07)

Sophie Trophy's - None yet

The founding Father and leader of the Group. His Captain Mannering attitude and dogged persistence ensures that the tour gets booked every year. The result is invariably a tour of sensational value & military precision which the rest of the Snorks then do their utmost to destroy.

Once away from the shackles of the UK a new Papa Snork emerges, a man with the stamina of Peter Stringfellow and the drinking capacity of a thirsty four humped camel.  Papa Snork ensures that the rest of the Snorks never miss any of the local attractions and this is characterised by his favourite holiday past-time - "norkling". The downside to this unnatural energy is that when the big fella eventually goes down at night his internal system ensures the noise levels remain constant through a series of thunder breaking snores. 

On the golf course his game is polarised with shots from the school of Tiger Woods to others more at home on TV with Victoria Woods.  Whereas lesser Snorks use Drivers old Papa casually and frequently out drives them by getting his big frame through his 3 wood! The height of merriment on the course always comes when Papa hits a bad one as it's followed by an agonised look with an outbreak of "F*ck, F*ck, F*ck" - move over Hugh Grant!!

Handicap - 16

Tours Attended - 7 (2001 - 07)

Sophie Trophy's - 1

Without doubt, the most chilled and laid back Snork. Quietly and calmly goes about his business (well until he's sunk the first one!) but is always at the forefront of festivities, and yet seems least affected the morning after.

George is never happier than when after a round of golf he can sit down with a roll-up and a pint of wifebeater (Stella Artois to everybody else). Definitely gets somewhat lairy after a few beers, typified by his knocking on Gary & Gerry's door in Penina at 3:00am in the morning armed with a loaded fire extinguisher.....and prepared to use it.

On the golfing side, he relies heavily on shouting instructions to the ball after he has hit it, rather than just hitting it straight. Bizarrely, when he does start hitting it straight he then always enters the $1m Hole in One challenge, which he knows always screws his game....and it does!! It is also worthy of note that George travels with his golf clubs and holiday stuff (or is there something else more sinister inside!) in an extremely large coffin.....heaven forbid if he ever gets stopped at customs.

Handicap - 24

Tours Attended - 4 (2004 - 07)

Sophie Trophy's - None yet